Twitter: Because everything you think is genius.
Twitter: Chat for the schizophrenic. RT @myself Chat for the schizophrenic!
Twitter: Impulse control? So 20th Century.
Twitter: Need more quilt inside your sexy warm typewriter?
Twitter: Sucking your life away one Tweet at a time.
Twitter: If the President does it, it isn't a crime!
Twitter: Like a foreign language for parents.
Twitter: 140 characters never felt so good.
Twitter: Confusing you with odd typso!
Twitter: And then what happened? And then what happened?
Twitter: Keeping track of when you're not home.
Twitter: Broadcasting your really annoying personality traits since 2008.
Twitter: Keeping Ashton Kutcher from making more films!
Twitter: Shortening your attention span for--OOH! SHINY!
Twitter: Talk is cheap. Twitter's free!
Twitter: Not just for twits and nitwits! (But mostly.)