11.10.2006

Beloved

I realized in my new book that all the lost beloveds have names that begin with M:

Matthew
Madeleine
Maribel

This was an accident. Except that there are no accidents.

There are now 11 pages in the Maribel section. It is composed entirely of false documents, including: an imaginary thesis excerpt, a non-existent interview tapescript, falsified diary entries, and invented shredded documents reassembled by scholars.

* * *

In other news, friends, I am going very gray.

Evidence
1. The gray hair above my ears has increased in number, width, coarseness, and "peekability." It is always sneaking out.
1a. There is more gray hair above my right ear than my left. Perhaps I am right brained?
1b. I have poorer hearing in my left ear.
1c. I got a haircut today that actually increased the gray hairs' visibility level by 35%.

2. I found a gray hair in my sideburns!
2a. This is the worst thing that has ever happened.
2b. I am making silent trade-offs with God that early graying means I will not lose my hair like every other man in my family.
2c. People have increasingly been able to figure out how old I am. I am no longer mistaken for 24.

3 comments:

  1. Pshaw. As someone who was graying at 22 and balding at 25, pshaw. :-)

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  2. It's when you find a gray in your pubes that your world will come crashing down. :) I did notice the other day that I have a few gray hairs (on my head) peaking throught the blonde. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete